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Not only are these subjects difficult, I find them hard to practice and learn properly without prescribed homework sets and deadlines. There are no “assignment due” alarms going off every couple of days, no classmates to gauge my progress against, and no textbook chapters or lecture n to testify any form of forward movement. I have to aggressively seek learning material: go on the web, search out resources, dig up textbooks, and prescribe myself practice problem sets. (Khan Academy is my crutch so far for this). Completing these faithfully is another challenge, requiring MORE self-motivation than I have. It’s amazing to realize how big a booster being in a real class is. Learning on my own via internet videos just doesn’t have the same rocket fuel effect…
Aside from solo learning of intimidating stuff, research is not so linear and so clear-cut. There is much less sense of control. Although I did set up a rough research schedule and tried to predict the building blocks I may need, things seem to be congealing at a unfamiliar rate and in unfamiliar ways.
Worse yet, if I give into being lazy one week, if I give into frustration and my fear of the unknown, and put some task aside, or if I unwittingly step onto a wrong path, I won’t feel any immediate pain- no burning guilt or goading anxiety. But, this is far more deceptive and dangerous than missing an assignment for a course. I would only be fooling myself to indulge in laziness and comfort when I should stay persistently focused on learning difficult topics and developing important skills.
So I share this unpleasant truth that you can benefit from knowing: the biggest liar (and let-downer) in one’s life is often one’s very self— not anyone else. I am SO guilty of this. My pain receptors seems to be less sensitive, even numb, when it comes to my own vices— even when they can kill me. Knowing how treacherous I can be against myself is the first step to winning… So I must stay vigilant!
Occasionally, the internet can provide some encouragement too. This drawing from Twisteddoodles.com is precisely how I feel right now! I am sure this isn’t unique to scientists, but applies to architects, artists, musicians, detectives, (all my dream jobs) and other hard-workers as well. To excel in any discipline, frustrated attempts and failures are simply a reality of the growing process.
For me, the best defense against lowered spirits is HUMOUR— you can easily become more accepting of setbacks if you can develop a fun attitude about them. How about coming up with creative, tasteful ways to express offense? Downton Abbey, anyone?
Anyway, if you haven’t already, click this: The truth about scientific work and “Eureka!”. [Aside: I don't want to directly post the lovely comic here since the artist seems particularly weary of unauthorized shares of his awesome artwork. Totally worth a click though, so click it!]
Aside from a good attitude and lots of humour, peer support and student fellowship are great remedies against those distracting extra Youtube windows… So help me stay focused by sharing some words of encouragement! !
